


an anatomy of here and now

by orphan_account



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Canon, F/M, inner-dialogue of canon moment, the best car ride ever filmed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24472105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He’s not exactly the sort to keep playing hero in nice clothes to anyone who doesn’t mean enough of something to him.
Relationships: Paxton Hall-Yoshida/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	an anatomy of here and now

Their eyes catch and the stubborn thread of tension strumming through him eases when Devi smiles a little, her reaction looking too pretty under the play of bright lights glowing in from outside and the darkness inside the car’s cabin. He’s taking the long way to her home. Scenic route. Devi’s much too smart so she knows it, knows it like Paxton thinks she knows that, while leaning more towards kindness than its opposite, he’s not exactly the sort to keep playing hero in nice clothes to anyone who doesn’t mean enough of something to him.

She breaks off the glance, shifting so that she’s focused on the strip of neon signs as they continue streaming past, her slight smile lingering. Her hair is still damp but increasingly less so, a dark, soft, beautiful messy halo framing her profile. His sweats fit her somewhat unfairly well. Paxton realizes how much he can be tuned in to her when he feels her relax before he sees it, - something about the set of her shoulders before she starts mouthing the words to the song playing for half a beat. It’s a startling discovery: Paxton is only ever that vibed-in to his family and really close friends. And now the girl who refuses to cave in and crumble even after she’s had an intensely personal and awkward screaming match with one of her best friends before accidently walking back into a pool has found her way that far in…

 _Figures_ : she is this fierce, reckless storm, and, more and more, he can’t help but find her worthy enough to try and weather it. Fuck, … - he just… keeps going back to wanting to weather her whenever he lets himself stop over her long enough to allow for whatever measure of honesty to filter through.

So he’s not that surprised when he finds himself saying the words to stop Devi from calling it a night and leaving his car, when he finds himself asking about how she’s doing after what happened with her friends. It seems like something Devi should get to talk through before going, that Devi’s side of the story should be heard because he’s been her sorta friend long enough to know that she’s not fundamentally shitty at friendship despite whatever was said during the chaotically awkward fight earlier.

“Yeah. I don’t know.” Her whisper is entirely vulnerable for once, and he’s guessing it’s one of those times she’s forgotten about high school social status and her wish to seem like she’s thoroughly breezy, fun, weirdly complex but in control the better to have him gravitate closer. “Right now, it kinda feels like everyone in my life is just… done with me.” He keeps his gaze on her as the words wash over him, his expression kept almost neutral but purposely far from uncaring because now he _knows_ it’s one of those times she’s forgotten about high school social status and her wish to seem like she’s thoroughly breezy, fun, weirdly complex but in control the better to have him gravitate closer. “Sorry. Forget I said that. That was weird. I ---” 

It’s so far from his first kiss. Maybe too far. It’s the only one since that’s gotten the same kind of reaction: fire lacing his blood, lips echoing too much with it after he’s stopped kissing Devi, and the notion that he’s entering some yet to be treaded and so necessary ground.

Their eyes catch as they remain close, their foreheads nearly touching. He allows for what’s playing in his stare to be open, as honestly intense as what he’s feeling while they begin moving apart. A beat, another one, and her mouth is shaping around a grin, want, wonder, and warm humor playing in equal measures across that pretty brown gaze of hers.

Paxton looks away, returning her grinning when he goes back to fixing on Devi.

“Um, thanks for the ride and the kiss…--- I mean, the kiss--- … I mean the clothes.” Devi goes back to smiling small but vibrantly after she’s stopped speaking, obviously not the least bit sorry for her momentary lack of filter or any of her many playing-it-cool mechanisms.

“Yeah, sure.” He chuckles before returning her beaming again, unable to reign back from either reaction. “See you on Monday, Devi.”

Paxton can pick up the scent of Devi’s faded perfume long after she’s left his car and he’s started making his way home, and his lips are still echoing too much with their kiss as he stops before the first red traffic light. The image of her parting grin, her nice skin, her halo of soft, messy hair, and the expression weighing in her eyes has somehow burned itself somewhere deep under.

He chuckles to himself, bows his head slightly and drums his fingers against the wheel as another, more dramatically loud song starts playing.

Oh, _fuck_ ,… -- but he really does _want_ to weather her.

~


End file.
